Monday 19th December 2011
Well I have to say it was another jam packed weekend..... A weekend full of Christmas parties, debauchery and lost memories and for those drunken flat chested ladies wearing chicken fillets.... lost mammaries, needless to say that there’s going to be a lot of disappointed and startled guys out there... Everyone has gone mad for the sales, even the girls on theForest Roadare wearingBikinitops under stereotypical fur coats with “sale” written on each breast, quite upsetting for those who paid full price last month... I have to say I’m a bit of a “Party Pooper” when it comes to Christmas, not that I’m tight or anything well after three kids who is? For me it’s a time when people get a bad dose of Christmas shopping-itis, the symptoms consist of three things... 1, A red mist of rage caused by people bumping into you as you walk down the high street, 2, A fever caused by the drastic change of temperature as you go into the overheated shops and then back out into the Baltic weather and 3, The loss of feeling in your hands as you carry the unnecessary, unimaginative and unoriginal gifts that you have bought for loved ones that you know they don’t want or need. Thank God for receipts that’s all I can say. I feel that we have lost the true meaning of Christmas....... These days’ people think that Christingle is the feeling you get after you’ve ended up with the office degenerate on top of the photocopier at the Christmas party. “Baa Humbug”
Tuesday 20th December 2011
Why is it that we get force fed insignificant and complete mind numbing News such as Crackerjack duo the Krankies’ aka Ian and Janette Tough their story being how they used to be swingers’...... Times must be “tough” for the Tough’s to have revealed this tit bit.... I wonder if guys used puns on Mrs Krankie such as “While you’re down there love” or “Big things come in small packages”. Do they think that we care what they get up to in their private lives? NOOOOOO.... Obviously World debt and how Governments have allowed Economic Hit Men to sweet talk the Powers that be into taking out a loan that will cripple the countries economy and bring the little people to their knees has no bearing on the drivel that “They” saturate us with.... Anyway that’s enough about that nonsense... more importantly who won the X Factor and when does Big Brother Start??????
Wednesday 21st December 2011
There has been a lot of talk about food wastage over the past few months; well I think that I can help to cut down on this with my make your own pizza idea.... Picture this.....at the end of a night out when people are that far gone that they couldn’t give a rats asterix about what they eat, I shall be selling ready made pizza bases so that people can add their own toppings by vomit foraging..... Everyone knows that there are always decent bits of sweet corn, nice chunks of meat etc that can always be salvaged from puke..... Obviously I would put a caution on the bottom of each one stating that “foraged bits could contain stomach acid”. One guy couldn’t be bothered to go home I found him asleep in a doorway with one of my pizza’s covering his groin, clearly I had to change his caution to “might contain nuts” I’m not stupid I’ve covered all bases no lawsuits on me. Speaking of the judiciary system a doctor has failed in a bid to force the Attorney General to open a new inquest into the death of Dr David Kelly in the High Court.... why? What are they scared of us finding out.... Could it possibly be the truth?
Thursday 22nd December 2011
I woke up this morning with a sore throat, runny nose and red eyes; friends tell me I have influenza and that I need the flu Jab..... I always thought that was a boxing terminology.... yes I am that special.... I am that person who thought that the common cold was only contracted by commoners and phone hacking was some sort of violent way to break your phone..... I bet Piers Morgan wished this to be true too.
I was supposed to have taken my nephew out to the park for a kick around thank God for the Flu... speaking of football I guess it’s a bad day at “black” rock for a couple of footballers, I hear that the crown prosecution services (CPS) are to make announcements this afternoon on investigation into the alleged racism involving Chelsea’s John Terry against QPR’s Anton Ferdinand..... Today could be a “black” day for Mr Terry. Should he be allowed to continue asEngland’s Captain...? Is Luis Suarez’s 8 match ban too harsh? Or should we just sit back and accept that racism is all part and parcel of the game?????? Spike Lee Directed a film called “Do the Right Thing” the clue is in the title.
There has been talk that David Cameron is to set up a Cabinet Committee to look after the welfare of British service men and woman... I wonder if he will be getting this Cabinet fromArgos.
Friday 23rd December 2011
The Christmas countdown is almost over..... Thank goodness.....Christmas is a time when people can become self absorbed... take the woman in America who sprayed mace in the face of someone who picked up the goodies that she wanted for herself... how ridiculous is that.... Then there is the 13 year old British girl who threatened to kill Santa if she didn’t receive the gifts that she had asked for and her mother pandering to her needs by saying she would buy her daughter everything she wanted because she didn’t want to upset her.... how about giving her a big stick.
Why don’t we be the gift that keeps on giving and donate our time to those who really need it, I’ve got a friend who is going to be helping out at a homeless shelter on Christmas day, which might not sound like a big deal but if you haven’t got anyone to spend time with or even if you don’t mind spending the time alone at least you might have a warm safe place to spend it in... Not everyone has this luxury. Christmas is a once a year event.... When is it again? Do you know who your neighbours are? Let’s not be governed by the divide and conquer rule, let us bring back the community spirit.... When was the last time you actually took the time out and really listened to somebody? Don’t just let another year go by before you speak to somebody in your neighbourhood.... Remember your community is for life not just for Christmas.
Article by Jenna Tayleah / 23rd December 2011